Mechanon, the book so awesome it took me over a year to complete!
Actually, there’s a lot to love about Mechanon, so I’m going to break my overall review into several categories.
Firstly, its important to note that this book, like the majority of the Falcon series, consists of several (fairly) self-contained subplots attached to each other with narrative tissue. Here, you have the Crecy battle, the Thrix interlude, the first Mechanon mission, the 1980s Earth quest and then the endgame involving Mechanon and Yelov.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, as it keeps the book more lively than if the whole thing was an unchanging dungeon-esque crawl. For example, an entire book spent slogging your way through the Mechanon factory complex would be positively dire. Even in this book, the machine complex was probably the least atmospheric part.
This breaking-up into ‘sub-missions’ does effect the replayability of the book somewhat. In particular, given the comparative lack of dice rolls, the Crecy, Thrix and retro-Earth passages are basically filler once you know the correct choices. As there are no real items / plot tokens that carry from one part to another, there is a real omission of the ‘game’ component of the book until the final showdown.
And oh boy, does the final showdown with Yelov make up for it. Consisting of half-a-dozen or more dice rolls in a row, there isn’t a massive amount of strategy involved, but rather a simple reliance on lucky rolls. In a situation where this confrontation takes place near the end of the book, I can easily picture a frustrated reader howling at the moon if several attempts in a row fell prey to unlucky dice rolling.
Save for that portion, the balance of the book, in terms of difficulty, is quite appropriate. Sensible and strategic choices are rewarded, while most dice rolls give some possibility of recovery, even when failed.
The final stage, with the ‘Hail Mary’ request of the Danikoi to refrain from colonizing Mechanon doesn’t stand up to any real logical scrutiny. Given the repeated warnings about the ‘butterfly effect’, and the stern attitude taken to meddling in the timeline, the idea that the granting of your request would have no other meaningful effect on the timeline is laughable. Even a token nod to consequences, where your colleagues are changed in someway on your return would have been appreciated.
Also, apart from some snarky comments from CAIN, the book is pretty much devoid of humour, with the whole endeavour being treated with po-faced seriousness. I would have loved for a gamebook series with the gamebook mechanics of Smith / Thomson and some of the light-hearted touches of J.B. Brennan (as seen in the Grail Quest series).
If you have not already read it, check out this post, which contains the vital start of this attempt to conquer this gamebook.
*Ahem*
Falcon has just blasted his nemesis, Agidy Yelov, into molecular fragments. Apart from Yelov being, you know, the baddie, there’s always that satisfaction of killing your former boss that just can’t be beat.
Relishing the opportunity for some wanton destruction, I begin blasting the various components of the Central Computer. Said computer immediately begins to quickly cycle through the five stages of grief :
Denial – Asks me to leave, calls me an intruder, acts like I’m not a threat.
Anger – States that the whole planet will explode, killing me, if I continue.
Fear – Changes tone as my blaster fire gets closer to a fascinating steel pyramid.
Bargaining – Demands that I stop, in exchange for which the computer will NOT launch the ‘planet killer’ against earth.
Acceptance……
We actually don’t get to acceptance, because I melt down the steel pyramid, and the whole system goes haywire, as the book moves from a 2001 : A Space Odyssey ripoff to a James Bond ripoff (I kid, I kid).
In something of a surprise, I don’t need to make any choices or dice rolls to escape the complex, as I hop into my Strike Fighter, get informed that the ion engines have ‘cooled off’ (um, I have QUESTIONS…) and take off.
But, surprisingly, I am not yet instructed to turn to the fabled paragraph 420…
Hm.
I sure there’s no such thing as a ‘planet killer’. I mean, that’s just fresh out of Star-Wars style Death Stars and…
Oh.
As I make tracks from Mechanon, the planet calmly splits in two and an ENORMOUS spaceship emerges from the centre. It is obvious that through its size alone it would wipe out any planet that it hits, but CAIN cheerfully confirms that it is essentially a massive flying bomb.
And not the sort that gets directed by Uwe Boll, either.
I have an interesting ‘choice’ here – the books says that I can ‘try to destroy the planet killer’ or rather ask CAIN if there are any ‘other’ options. Since its a fair assumption that my (comparatively) puny ship’s weapons aren’t going to be good for much, I ask my super-computer for help.
After blithely confirming that nothing on board my ship can even scratch the ‘planet killer’ (hereinafter called PK, because I’m lazy), CAIN gives me the moral authority I need to go back in time by 50,000 years and convince the Danikoi to refrain from colonizing Mechanon.
Um…
Isn’t this MASSIVELY irresponsible on a galaxy-wide scale? I mean, this short-term solution may theoretically save Earth from this immediate threat, but won’t such a significant alteration have severe consequences for several, if not all, planets in Earth’s vicinity?
I mean, has CAIN even read ‘A Sound of Thunder’? Or seen The Butterfly Effect?
Oh well, I guess I’m just going to take the universe’s future in my hands and go for broke.
I get 2 Endurance restored from dressing my wounds, and emerge at Danikos, 50,000 years ago. I land without resistance in a city reminiscent of how people think Rome looked in the time of Christ (you know, without the travails of life in that era).
The Danikoi are tall and spindly, with golden eyes without iris or pupil. I am told they have no body hair (?!) and I assume that I know this because they are not wearing clothes or protective gear, as I don’t even want to THINK about how else Falcon might know this fact.
After some back and forth, I am taken to an informal Council, where an opposing advocate, known as the Disputer, is given the role of rebutting my arguments.
Falcon, Barrister, your time is now!
I reveal that I am a time traveller, and that they must resist any desire to begin work on a factory planet in 5,000 years. The Disputer asks me to prove that I’m traveller. The option of actually showing the my time travel device and explaining how it works has BAD IDEA written ALLLL over it, so I get CAIN to provide me with details of a post-death message from a deceased Danikoi which is due to be opened.
After correctly predicting the contents, they accept my ability to time travel, but ask why they should care about people to be born thousands of years in the future ?
Again, the choice presented isn’t difficult. I can either mention that Earth will become head of an empire to which Danikos will be subject, or I can mention that these people in the future will live, laugh and love just like the Danikoi.
I think I just walked into a Julia Roberts movie.
Oh, and NOW he starts with the Trump-esque argument that these doomed people will be ‘aliens’ from another world….
I refuse to use Power of Will, but reassure him that people from Earth have the same pleasures and desires as the Danikoi.
Except the movies of Steven Seagal. Seriously, screw that guy.
My argument is accepted, and they create a law against building a factory planet in the future. I leave, before they get a chance to enslave me as a human concubine or steal my spaceship.
I reach Earth, 3033AD, and CAIN promptly advises that he has no record of any planet named Mechanon in its databanks. Instead of being overjoyed due to my wild scheme succeeding, for some reason Falcon is shocked (!)
Turning to 420 (!!), I enter Jobanque’s office, only for him to ask for my help, as Agidy Yelov has just (sigh) escaped from prison.
So all my efforts have succeeded in….getting me back where I started.
After I tell my story to Jobanque he believes me, but laughingly refuses to give me a medal for something that no-one else thinks has happened. He sends another agent after Yelov, and gives me ten days off.
Well, that’s something at least.
Next : My thoughts on Mechanon as a book and a story!
Endurance : 19, Evasion – +2, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
Do you want a detailed explanation on how I play through the first segments of this book again? Me neither. Briefly :
I travel to Crecy and save my ancestor’s life (although at the cost of receiving a sword wound of 12 (!!) Endurance points
I correctly deduce Yelov’s plan (to prevent the nuclear holocaust on Mechanon, and then to use polybdenum from Thrix to fuel a robot invasion force to Earth).
I travel to Thrix, survive the free-fall brought about by my engine malfunction
I meet Carborundum (I don’t know if I mentioned this during my earlier playthroughs, but Carborundum is another name for silicon carbide, a semiconductor used for electronic devices which operate at a high temperature or voltage).
Anyway, my new semiconductor friend and I manage to smash Yelov’s mining operation on Thrix without having to make a single dice roll.
After my brief confrontation with Yelov (which, unfortunately, doesn’t involve me firing a blaster shot AT HIS FACE) I return to Falcon’s Wing and set a course for Mechanon.
Reassuringly, my Autodoc is able to restore the 12 Endurance points that I lost in my encounter with the black robot knight.
I land on Mechanon, quickly leap onto my access disc and blow away the radar beacon before it can detect me.
I continue on foot, and navigate the droid complex (using my previously-gained knowledge) and escape with Bloodhound and Lynx, only needed to make one (comparatively easy) Evasion Roll along the way.
Did someone say “+1 to Evasion modifier for escaping Mechanon”!!? I THINK THEY DID!
We return to Earth and I get my new mission – to head off to Mechanon in 1986AD, together with my new attack tech!
I get the Zeiss Shields for my Strike Fighter, instead of that passe titanium armour.
Unsurprisingly, I am again confronted by the weird grid / time-travel / acid-trip logic problem, but navigate the time-holes / mines without a hitch.
I see the ship leave Mechanon for Earth 1986 and follow it.
To cut a long story short (“too late” I hear my audience cry) I follow the android, prevent it communicating with the controls for the Soviet nuclear arsenal, blast it (losing 3 Endurance in the explosion) make the necessary Evasion roll to evade the police, and return to my ship, with the next stop being a rematch with one Agidy Yelov.
I re-emerge in the space above Mechanon, and depressingly remember that I need to navigate various obstacles (while maintaining my shields and ship) before I could get close to a mano-et-cyborgo individual struggle.
I take out the weather control satellite, and narrate my action sequence (TM) as follows :
My first successful Attack Roll means the initial volley of missiles is destroyed without damage to myself (Shields – 10)
As I approach the entrance to the Central Computer Complex, a missile as large as my ship comes hurtling towards me.
I try to evade the missile by banking my ship skywards, and have to make an Attack Roll as I use my aft defence lasers. My Roll is successful, and the missile crashes into the surface of Mechanon, causing a blast a mile wide.
Returning to the hangar entrance, I am pleased and slightly surprised to note that my shields remain, for the moment, at full strength.
I zip into the hangar entrance, and use the Main Access Code to gain further penetration.
Unfortunately, I now have 10 Interceptors on my tail, along with the missile launcher that was previously so unfriendly to me.
I use my aft lasers and yet another (!!!) successful Attack Roll destroys the second missile which was being launched, along with the Interceptors, which are destroyed in the resulting explosion.
A miniature fortress, complete with armaments looms ahead, and I launch a Fission Missile.
My missile destroys the fortress and opens a path forward, admittedly through the smoke and debris caused by my wanton destruction.
I take a right turn (when it presents itself) and use another missile to destroy a further force field.
Things are looking great before the force field redeploys on my say through, causing me to crash land.
As I emerge from my ship, I see Yelov approaching on a transport disc, just as another Interceptor emerges from the distance.
No more bullet points, as I stand ready at the point at which I previously fell!
I leap over the laser blast from the Interceptor (thanks, Evasion modifier!) before I see that Yelov has dropped a hunter-seeker mine towards me.
Learning from my mistake last time, I get clever by waiting for the mine to approach, before zipping upwards with my jet-pack, letting the mine harmlessly detonate on my former location. Heady with success, I fire a rocket from my battlesuit at the Interceptor, blowing it away.
However, without a chance to even catch my breath, I am given no opportunity to evade Yelov’s high blaster, which does 2 Armour Points of damage along with (!) 3 Endurance.
Interestingly, the book noted that Yelov’s blaster has been modified to a ‘high intensity’ level.
I can use my particle disruptor or a rocket. Never one to shy away from a higher level of firepower, I shoot a rocket which never made it past a force field that protects Yelov.
In a “THIS IS IMPORTANT” moment, the book mentions that there is a generator which maintains breathable air for Yelov. I blast it, and Yelov retreats, as I follow him.
Alright, this feels like the final confrontation, as Yelov and I square off before Mechanon’s central computer.
Yelov attacks me with his mind. I fail one Power of Will roll, and then get a second chance, although on the basis of my Power of Will modifier being reduced by 1. Naturally, I fail the roll by ONE POINT, and get a charming paragraph about how Yelov heats up my suit with his blaster until I am roasted ‘like a lobster in a pot’.
Charming.
I shall return.
Pop culture.
Russian Doll is a Netflix series, created, written and starring the amazing Natasha Lyonne. A combination of an unapologetic feminist tale, Groundhog Day, Less Than Zero and Donnie Darko, its fantastic.
[Two notes : I’ve amended the amount of missiles remaining – thanks to the pickup from Gloccus. I’ve also inserted a picture (of my frightening rear view camera) which for some reason hadn’t appeared in the previous post]
Well!
I’m back, and this time it hasn’t been for lack of enthusiasm. My current course is absolutely intense, but I’m finding it incredibly satisfying, despite the lack of, you know, actual pay.
I’m not sure exactly how long this entry will be, what with the possibility of instant death and the constraints on my time, but we’ll see, shan’t we?
Ah, Spaceballs, we miss you. Back when people looked at President Skroob and thought “There’s NO WAY a country could elect a President THAT stupid!”
Good times, good times.
When we left our intrepid pilot / psychic / assassin, he had finished with the Mechanon defense fortress, at the cost of reducing his Shield points to 2.
Coming to an old-school dungeon-esque junction, I can either head straight on, or take a side tunnel to the right, towards a ‘blue light’.
I think, given my lack of shields, the frontal approach may not be best, so I guide my ship down the side passage.
As I hurtle down the side corridor, I note with some trepidation that the floor of the corridor serves as a vast robot factory, building all sorts of devilish tools of destruction. I speed along at Mach 5 (around 6000km/h) and approach the glowing blue light that I noticed earlier.
As I press my petal to the (literal) metal, I rush towards a blue energy barrier which completely blocks this corridor. Without being able to slow down in time, I have to take out the barrier’s generator by either launching one of my missiles or shooting my ‘regular’ lasers.
I think this is a case for wanting maximum firepower – missiles it is!
[Tim Allen, by all accounts, is a jerk. But he was, a la William Shatner, awesome in Galaxy Quest, playing a thinly disguised William Shatner-esque actor]
After a few nervous moments the missile does indeed (temporarily) overload the generator, leaving a path through for my (slightly relieved) self.
Before I can remind myself not to get cocky, the barrier springs back into life when I am halfway through, shorting out my ship’s Ion Drive.
Forced to crash land….
…….I fire up my battlesuit and spring out of the cockpit.
Before I can meaningfully get my bearings, I see a ‘raildroid’ approaching, carrying none other than Agidy Yelov as a passenger.
I might have my battlesuit, but I have no doubt that he’s equipped with various homicidal Mechanon-made toys.
The thin atmosphere has apparently adjusted, as Yelov needs no spacesuit. He recognises me and curses “Kill or be killed, Falcon.”
Simultaneously a small white object drops from Yelov’s hand while an Atmospheric Interceptor enters the far end of the tunnel. Before I can think about making a decision, I’m instructed to make an Evasion Roll.
My roll of 9 means that I make a battlesuit-assisted leap into the air, over a laser blast from the Interceptor robot, which the hurtles past me. I can also see that the white object dropped by Yelov is actually a hunter-seeker mine, which is closing in on me.
So many things trying to kill me, so little time.
I can fire my blaster at the hunter-seeker, shoot a rocket at the Interceptor, or wait for the hunter-seeker to get close before soaring above it.
The Interceptor doesn’t seem to be the most urgent threat, and trying to avoid a device that is literally homing in on me seems like folly.
Blast it!
I have to make an Attack Roll without the benefit of any modifiers, which always makes me nervous.
And just like that, my roll of five means that my blast misses the hunter-seeker and it latches on to my battle-suit, killing me.
Unforgiving, much?
I’ve got no idea when I’ll be back, but I have no intention of abandoning my quest to blast Yelov’s remains into space.
Pop culture.
Since I’m feeling a little melancholy, I’m going to give you two songs about love and loss. Both by the folk singer Jewel, the first one is a simple and poignant tune about trying to get through the day all alone. The second takes a sharp aim at those who persist in playing destructive emotional games.
For those who don’t know, I’m currently engaged in an intense eight-week course in preparation (hopefully) for my admission to the Victorian Bar. Apologies to all my readers, but posting will, in all probability, be spotty until May 2019.
But!
I’m here, at least for the time being!
In any event, I’m fleeing the dread land of the 80s for the safety of my Time Machine / Spaceship / Jet Fighter.
Aside : Speaking of the 1980s, for those that were unimpressed with ‘Ready Player One’ by Ernest Cline, have a listen to the first episodes of the podcast 372 pages we’ll never get back. Hilarious.
I emerge from light speed approximately two hours (of space travel) from Mechanon, outside the range of their detection satellites. I do note a nearby weather control satellite, which were used to spare the planet of the constant storms and hurricanes which were prevalent before colonization.
Aside : I would LOVE a weather control satellite. You know, just to make sure that half the people on Earth don’t die within the next 100 years…
Just as the sight of the weather control satellite relaxes me, CAIN notices an intruder detection satellite concealed behind it. I am cheerfully informed that it has already noted my ship and sent a message to Mechanon.
My cannons are itching for some action, and I can fire at either the weather control satellite or the intruder detection one.
Somewhat counter-intuitively, I see little benefit to blasting away at a detection satellite that as already, you know, detected me. Bring on the storms and hurricanes, you feckless robots!
The weather control satellite is now nothing but dust, but I am somewhat discomfited by the fact that the ‘intruder detection satellite’ also doubles as a FREAKING MISSILE GUIDANCE SATELLITE
Three ‘surface-to-space’ missiles have now been fired from the surface of Mechanon and are being guided by the satellite towards my humble ship.
[I try to manfully ignore that FIVE MINUTES AGO the book informed me that I was TWO HOURS from the surface of Mechanon…]
As I grapple with my electronic counter-measures, I need to make an Attack Roll :
My result of 5 is ONE LESS than needed for success.
This means that one of the missiles is liquidated, while the other two continue on their merry way.
Second Attack Roll!
My total of 7 is enough to knock out one of the remaining two missiles, but that last tenacious sucker manages to get through my defenses and knocks one point off my Zeiss Shields.
I have a funny feeling that gif might be getting another workout or two before this part of the gamebook is over…
I dive into an ion storm, which makes my navigation tricky, but also (hopefully) scrambles the detection scanners of nearby wardroids. Thankfully (and yes, this happens in the same paragraph) I emerge from the storm right above the Central Computer Complex.
As I am about to dive into the hangar entrance a missile as big as my Strike Fighter (!!) starts rocketing out of the depths of the planet straight at me. It is ‘so close’ I can see a bunch of sensors on the tip.
I must quickly whether to bank the Strike Fighter skyward, use electronic countermeasures, or simply to fire my fusion beams at the missile.
I think that the mention of the sensors is a clue that the missile will simply follow me if I try to dodge. Since my counter-measures were (sort of) effective earlier, I decide to give them another try..
UnNfortunately, the missile had been built with a jamming system, and the counter-measures don’t work (!)
I have to simply try and blast the missile, and another attack roll is required….
A 7 means that the MEGA-missile gets blown away, but it explodes so close that my vaunted Zeiss Shields cop a 2-point battering.
This is starting to get expensive…
My fighter zips down the main entrance tunnel, and I use my hard-won Main Access Code (15) to secure entrance to the complex. Unfortunately, as I enter the Main Access portal, ten unfriendly ships decide to follow me, with obvious intentions…
I bank left down another corridor, and emerge near the main hangar. Unfortunately the ten missiles are still hot on my tail, along with another missile sent my way by the launcher in the hangar.
For those that think I’m exaggerating, here’s my rear camera :
With regard to the missile, I can use my electronic counter-measures, or fire my (aft) lasers. Given my previous experience with ECM jamming technology….
ENGAGE LASERS!
Unfortunately, another Attack Roll is needed….
My roll of 3 (!!) does not inspire me with confidence and, indeed, the missile pierces my defences and causes 4 points of damage to my shields (for the curious, it would have caused SEVEN points of damage if I was working off the Titanium Hull defenses…)
In at least a kernel of good news, the missile explosion takes out the other interceptor fighters which were pursuing me.
Before I can breathe a sigh of relief at being alive, I see a mobile fortress embedded in the corridor, with all the technological doodads, like weapon pods, sensor banks and plasma cannons.
Ignoring the other choices I launch one of my fission warhead missiles at the fortress and have to make a chance (!) roll.
My roll of 1 (!) means that my missile doesn’t destroy the fortress, although it buys me a few extra seconds of life.
Three more (!!!) missiles are launched at my tail, and I once more hope that my ECMs will actually work this time.
The missiles are destroyed, but at the loss of a further one shield point.
And, at the risk of making the next entry a short one, I leave you.
Evasion – +2, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
Equipment (extra) – Keladi pills
Current paragraph – 185
POP CULTURE!
Although it is a (hilarious) comedy, My Cousin Vinny, where a New York Italian lawyer defends his cousin in redneck country, has been justifiably lauded for its comparatively correct depiction of courtroom procedure and cross-examination.
Plus, for those so inclined, Marisa Tomei, in her Academy Award winning role is MIGHTY FINE.
After defeating the challenge of what I’ve now decided to call the ‘sinister x-y axis’ I’m back on track!
My time-travelling fighting spaceship finally emerges above Mechanon in 1986AD. I’m just in time (pun totally intended) to see a massive starship departing the planet with a 93% (according to CAIN) probability of being headed for Earth.
Well, duh. You think the fascist rulers of Earth would go to all this trouble to save Kelados?
I can either follow the ship to Earth or continue on course to Mechanon.
Not a hard choice. The starship obviously has the intention of interfering with Earth’s past timeline (or just blowing the whole darn planet up) and it must be stopped before I meddle with the home base of these wardroids.
Both the enemy starship and I emerge from hyperspace near Earth’s moon, and I remain undetected, around 4,000 miles away.
Interestingly, the ship does not attack Earth, but merely drops a small ‘re-entry capsule’ before leaving, presumably headed back to Mechanon.
I can head to Earth, following the capsule, or continue on the tail of the larger starship. Again, I suspect nefarious deeds will take place on Earth, so I think it is best to focus on the possible damage to the past in my home planet.
I track the capsule, noting that it is too close to a ‘large city’ to simply blast it out of the sky. I land in a field, in an area CAIN describes as Devon, in England.
Just in time for some comic relief, CAIN informs me that there is no molecular convertor or hologram device on board, and that I’ll have to stroll around in my 3033AD outfit. CAIN simply suggests that I pretend to be an extra in a ‘science fiction film’.
Is everyone else thinking what I’m thinking? Time traveller(s) from the distant future, sent to Earth in the mid-1980s to try and save the universe? Wandering about in futuristic outfit(s) for comedy purposes?
As I check the relevant dates, I see that Star Trek IV came out in late 1986, while this book was published in 1985! Paramount owes Messrs Smith and Thomson millions!!!
Ahem.
Back to the book.
As I emerge near to the mystery capsule, I don my infra-red goggles (because I didn’t already look weird enough, apparently) and see an android (which I know as such because of the lack of body heat) quickly moving towards the nearest road. In the headlights of the moving cars, I see that it is dressed in period-appropriate clothing.
I can follow the android or retreat to sabotage the capsule (which is, tellingly, described as a ‘burnt out’ capsule).
I’m pretty sure the capsule was a ‘one use only’ deal, and it isn’t like an android is going to have massive self-preservation instincts, so I stay on its trail.
Aside : This whole section has the gimmick of describing everyday 1980s Earth places, people and things from the supposed perspective of someone who only vaguely understands what they are. I’m going to skim over this artifice unless something is truly funny.
As the android enters an English pub, I do get a snicker from the description of the patrons drinking ‘enormous glass mugs of what looks faintly like urine.’
As the android asks someone about the use of a ‘phone and then moves towards the back of the building, a drunk patron describes me as a ‘Star Wars chappie’ and offers to buy me a drink.
Rather than ignore him, I claim a lack of funds and duck out the front door and circle around to the back.
As I start to move, CAIN informs me (and how CAIN knows this, I have no idea) that the android is using a public telephone to communicate with the computer controlling the Soviet Union’s nuclear arsenal (!!)
Aside : This book didn’t only predict Star Trek IV, now its revisiting the plot of…..
I spot the android in a public telephone box, with a device fixed to the telephone’s receiver. I can ‘yank’ him out of the phone box, cut the cable or use my blaster.
I hesitate to whip out the blaster save for those times that I have no other choice, so I take a practical option and blast the telephone cable.
The android, who may or may not look like this….
…..steps menacingly out of the phone booth, spots me, and raises its blaster.
I can run away (across the fields), attack hand-to-hand or use my blaster. Hand-to-hand battles with a robot are strictly for suckers, and running away seems less than ideal when I’m about to get blasted.
Gunplay for the win!
The android suffers from a severe malfunction (of being blasted to kingdom come, with the explosion taking 3 of my Endurance points) but some 1980s British bobbies take an active interest in my handiwork.
As I try to climb a nearby wall to get away, I need to make an Evasion roll….
My roll of 6, together with my Evasion bonus of +2, is more than sufficient, and I leave the flatfoot officers in my wake.
Following a homing signal from CAIN, I locate my Strike Fighter and, satisfied with a job well done, once more set course for Mechanon.
And that is a convenient moment to leave you.
Final aside : tomorrow (22 Feb) is my last day at my current job!
Endurance : 17, Evasion – +2, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
Equipment (extra) – Keladi pills
Current paragraph – 135
Pop culture!
Something slightly different tonight. There is an ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC Youtube channel called ‘Oversimplified’ that gives brief and hilarious summaries of world-changing events such as World War II. It shouldn’t work, but somehow does. Here’s an example –
Well, the bad news is that Falcon, you know, died.
The slightly less bad news is that I don’t think our bloodthirsty special agent made a lot of mistakes before reaching his inglorious end.
I’m going to (mostly) retrace my steps, and summarise in bullet points.
I relax on my crash couch in Falcon’s Wing and debate the merits of simply travelling to 1970s New York and hanging out at Studio 54 for a few months.
I then snap out of it and confirm with Jobanque that he has no intention to send other agents on this mission. I can therefore blast any time travellers with impunity, as they will be Yelov or his allies.
I then elect to travel to Crecy, in order to ensure that I have a future, as well as a past.
I enter the battle and stay near Sir Thomas Chandos.
I resist the urge to interfere in his battle with Count Louis and once more confront the (robot) Black Knight.
Eschewing my blaster, my initial attack roll of 6 isn’t enough and the Black Knight tries to blast me with the laser beam from his helmet.
My Evasion Roll is sufficient to allow me to dodge, but now I have the added options of either (1) Using Power of Will on Sir Thomas Chandos’ current foe to force him to attack the Black Knight, (2) Using my sword on the Black Knight (3) Using my blaster on the Black Knight.
Getting someone to attack the Black Knight from an unexpected direction sounds like a great idea, and I try to control the Duke of Alencon.
My Power of Will roll of 12 (!) is more than enough
First, the good news – the Duke stops the Black Knight’s attack, and Sir Thomas Chandos is safe.
Now, the bad. The Knight in its final throes kills several English soldiers, causing an English retreat, which will significantly change history.
Running out of options, I quickly employ Thinkstrike against a number of unsuspecting French knights, stopping their charge literally in its tracks.
When I return to Falcon’s Wing, CAIN advises, to my relief, that any significant changes to the timeline will be eradicated by the forthcoming Black Death.
Aside : Never knew the day when that worldwide calamity would in any way be ‘good’ news…
I confirm with CAIN my guess as to Yelov’s plan, and head for Thrix.
I engage my Variac drive at the correct interval to land safely on the planet, and meet my future silica-clone, Carborundum.
This time I actually restrain myself from destroying the main mining droid, and am rewarded by being able to finish the Thrix ‘stage’ of the adventure without needing to touch the dice again.
I reach Mechanon and take the liberty of making the exact same choices – blasting the radar beacon, entering the main complex on foot and observing the creation of the enormous time machine.
Tempting fate, I again dash down the smaller access tunnel but elect to talk DIRECTLY UNDER the rail along which the wardroid is travelling.
Under the rail is obviously the robot’s ‘blind spot, and it whirs past me without bothering to look down.
Alright – uncharted territory!
At the end of the tunnel it (and the rail) turns sharp left. I have the option of waiting, but that appears to be a waste of time, particularly if the robot travels on the rail on a circuit.
The tunnel leads to a communications network / terminal. Using my conveeeeeenient ‘Universal Interface’ (which has a quite literal name, apparently….) I extract gigabytes of material on Mechanon, before detecting some communications, presumably notable for having a human rather than robot voice.
It is Bloodhound and Lynx, who have presumably been sent to help me!
How Jobanque knew that I would be on Mechanon at this stage of the mission is open to conjecture.
I have the choice of trying to fight my way back to them (the network has allowed me to note that the tunnels between us are teeming with wardroids) or continuing deeper into the complex.
Frustratingly, I am given no indication as to whether the information which I have extracted from the computer is enough for my current purposes, or if more data should be obtained.
I mean, are the Death Star plans in this readout or not??
I decide to move deeper for the moment, setting off the homing beacon in my suit for my fellow agents to approach.
In a fairly abrupt resolution, I am summarily informed that a platform that moves between levels is commandeered from above by Bloodhound, who throws me a rope.
Aside : My geek self was just waiting for him to say “Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip!”
Anyway, as I get lifted towards the hole in the ceiling, some stray wardroids open fire. y Evasion Roll of (4+1)=5 is juuuuust enough and as I get congratulated by Lynx, I get the welcome news that I can add a further +1 to my Evasion modifier!
After confirming to the book that I destroyed the radar beacon on initially leaving Falcon’s Wing, we all return to the Eiger Vault in our respective Time Machines.
And that appears to be convenient moment to leave you.
Thanks to all my supporters and readers.
Pop culture!
A movie that endures in terms of its quotability is the 1987 masterpiece Broadcast News. THe three leads of William Hurt, Holly Hunter and Albert Brooks have never been better, and their collective focus on their careers anticipated shows like The West Wing and Murphy Brown.
The line that always resonated with me :
“It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you’re the smartest person in the room.”
“No……..It’s awful.”
Endurance : 20, Evasion – +2, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
I swallow my pride and hope that business picks up now that I’ve actually reached the titular planet.
Cybertr- *ahem* MEGATRON!
Sorry – Mechanon.
There’s whole heap of descriptive text, which I will summarise by way of my old stand-by : BULLET POINTS…
Structures called ‘robo-factories’ dominate the skyline, covering almost every scrap of available surface.
I’ve landed on a refinery, and a mining droid looms overhead.
There are defence posts with artillery every three miles (approximately) over hte surface.
An entrance to a structure different to the other factories is nearby.
The surface is fatal to human life (but maybe not lawyers? Boom-tish!) and I will need to wear my environment suit.
I get a Universal Interface (which would today be called a USB stick) for obtaining information from Mechanon’s computer.
In a cunning move, the authors bury amongst all the exposition the vital fact that a radar dish is sweeping inexorably towards Falcon’s Wing.
This is important, because the choices given are to (1) Prepare the flyer (2) Immediately leave (3) Check my environment suit’s functions carefully before leaving the ship.
Option (3) (never given previously) means one of two things – there’s some flaw in my suit that will kill or wound me as soon as I enter the atmosphere, or a delay of this kind will result in detection by the radar.
I’m a bit torn, because that radar worries me. Having said that, Falcon’s Wing will still be vulnerable to the radar, even if I’m not personally inside it.
Fortune favors the bold, so I forego the preparation of the Flyer, and jump straight onto my ‘Access Disk’ (which sounds like something to be used on a Commodore 64, but never mind).
As I descend, the radar beacon sweeps towards me. I have to make a split second decision to either run towards the building entrance mentioned earlier, or to blast it.
Again, as I want to protect Falcon’s Wing (as well as myself) from detection I reach the obvious, and destructive, decision.
I don’t even need to make an Attack Roll as the radar is severely damaged, presumably before even reaching Falcon’s Wing.
I now get the renewed choice of entering the key building, or climbing into my flyer.
Bearing in mind the whole ‘surface to air artillery every three miles’ thing, I decide that descrtion may be the better part of valour, and continue on foot.
I slide down the bowl-like entrance to the refinery and enter, avoiding robots and wardroids (which, in any event seem largely indifferent to my presence.
As a droid enters a large flat-topped tower in the complex, I am able to note the Main Access Code (15) which, in true gamebook fashion, will doubtless be an issue later.
As I enter an enormous hangar, I am shocked to see the finishing touches being placed upon an enormous Time Machine, which was doubtless intended to invade Earth with the Polybdenum I recently destroyed on Thrix.
Yeah, thanks Wedge.
In any event, before I can finish congratulating myself and foiling Yelov’s first plan, I’m further disheartened by spotting the massive Mechanon fleet, complete with spaceships of all shapes and destructive sizes.
As I skulk at the mouth of the hangar, I note various droids working on the time machine and have the option of strolling brazenly by or keeping to the shadows.
Here my memory of details dropped in passing will (hopefully) come in handy. When I entered the complex, it was mentioned, almost as an aside, that various worker droids ignored me. I’m assuming that their unsophisticated programming doesn’t allow for stopping ‘intruders’, and I therefore stroll past, presumably while whistling ‘The Farmer in the Dell’ (if you’re a fan of The Wire, you’ll get the reference)…
Sure enough, the robots ignore my lithe body, which, to be frank is a little insulting. Don’t they even realise what a threat Falcon can be? I guess, since they aren’t Lords of TIME, they feel a little safer…
I now get a classic gamebook choice – continue down the main (incredibly wide) tunnel, or duck down a ‘smaller’ (as in thirty meters wide) tunnel, which leads to ‘a display board’.
I’m all for the chance to muck up the internal computer network (and check my Twitter feed) so I decide to check out the smaller tunnel before proceeding onwards.
Just as I note a large rail running high on the wall of this corridor, a large wardroid emerges, bustling along said rail towards me. I can continue on or hug the wall.
Metaphorically.
If I hide, I can always come out all guns blazing if detected, so I take cover along the side of the corridor (remembering that it was worker droids, and not wardroids, that previously didn’t notice my presence).
Unfortunately, I am detected, and the robot opens fire, after my initial blast is deflected by its shield. Evasion roll!
My total of 5+1=6 is ONE OFF a successful result…
And, in a serious display of brutality, that one single unsuccessful roll is enough to secure an instadeath, as my humble self is sprayed all over the corridor.
An ignominious end for such a decorated special agent…
Falcon will return!
Endurance : 0, Evasion – +1, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
Equipment (extra) – Keladi pills
Current paragraph – 30
Pop culture!
Not just for comic book fans, this documentary about the creation of Batman is amazing, and I literally cried at two (!) points :
After a refreshing long weekend in Lang Lang (four shops with second-hand books, baby!)…
Aside : gratuitous picture –
….I’m back in the world of gamebooks!
Looking once more at Mechanon, I reflect on the fact that Falcon is starting to think that his sidekick (Carborundum, or ‘Carbo’ to his mates) indestructible.
Aside : Lone Wolf, meanwhile, considers his luck with sidekicks and curses his fate to be the protagonist of the wrong book series. Then again, if Lone Wolf, given his track record, was the protagonist of this series, Carbo would probably find himself to be ‘destructible’ real quick…
Back to the adventure.
I emerge from the ‘back’ of the mining robot, and see over a hundred rods of Polybdenum, which, presumably after production, have been placed on a rack for transportation and use.
Aside : Bearing in mind that one ‘rod’ is used for each time trip, this is obviously a priceless haul.
I mention this because Falcon’s destructive impulses come to the fore, and I whip out my blaster (yes, my actual blaster, get your mind out of the gutter) and destroy the entire polybdenum cache.
Carbo starts getting emotional, and thanks me again for saving ‘his’ (and the book confirms that Carbo is male) life, and invites me to become his ‘silica clone’.
My psychic abilities are able to detect that to be the ‘silica clone’ of a Thrix native is a great honor. In a classic case of ‘not thinking things through’, Falcon doesn’t, before accepting, actually confirm whether being a ‘silica clone’ involves something to do with solid rock, volcano eruptions or something similarly fatal to a fragile human such as myself.
Before the conversation can get more detailed, a flying robotic ‘beetle’ (the book’s word, not mine) soars from the horizon and lands in front of me.
A figure descends to the surface on a platform which emerges from the belly of the (metaphorical) beast, and I quickly recognise my former boss, Agidy Yelov, and surmise that this craft must be another Time Machine.
Yelov see the destroyed Polybdenum and, perhaps unsurprisingly, chucks a tantrum at me for yet again interfering with his plans.
Falcon, meanwhile :
After noting that he thought he’d erased me from existence through his interference at the battle of Crecy he resorts to basic undignified threats.
He screams some barely comprehensible gibberish about how my death will be as painful as the robots of Mechanon can devise.
When it comes to vague threats, I prefer King Lear :
“I will have such revenges on you both,
That all the world shall—I will do such things,—
What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be
The terrors of the earth.”
Aside : I’m not criticising Smith / Thomson, I’m dragging Yelov for being flat and unimaginative….
Anyway, my new bestie Carbo lets of some kind of keening wail which disrupts Yelov’s force-field and exposes him to the Thrix atmosphere.
Spitting some (no doubt cliched) curses and threats, Yelov is forced to retreat to his ship / Time Machine.
I emerge back onto the surface and prepare to leave. Carbo thinks that I am a space (rather than time) traveller, and says that he will travel for a thousand years to discover the star around which my home planet circles (!)
Because Falcon is a cold-hearted bastard, I don’t tell Carbo that I’m a time traveller, and ask that he never try to find me.
Aside : I’m having serious flashbacks to the Simpsons episode where Bart poses as a letter-writing lover to Mrs Krabappel and then lets her down with a final letter about how he must leave her…
Ahem.
In any event, CAIN reminds me that the timehole here is about to close, and I re-enter Falcon’s Wing and give instructions to set course for Mechanon in the year 1986 AD.
Presumably all the robots of Mechanon are working hard while listening to Slippery When Wet by Bon Jovi….
This is a shorter post than normal, but I’ll leave you here rather than wait another couple of days to complete the post….
Endurance : 20, Evasion – +1, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
Equipment (extra) – Keladi pills
Current paragraph – 317
Pop culture!
Given the orgy of nationalistic self-congratulation associated, in my country, with January 26, I might mention an unofficial national song. ‘Khe Sanh’, by the Australian band Cold Chisel, tells the story of a discontented Vietnam veteran, who struggles to find his place in the post-war society.
Aside : Although it is now almost universally acclaimed as a classic, at the time it was banned from many radio stations for the SCANDALOUS line “And their legs were often open / But their minds were always closed.”
Well! The good news is that I have landed safely on the planet Thrix!
The bad news is….well, I’ve still got a month to go in my current job. (Lawyer job, not time cop).
CAIN fills me in on the planet Thrix, although there are some who would say that this is the exact sort of subject that should have already been covered at the TIME academy….
Thrix :
The inhabitants of this planet are some form of ‘living rock’ made of glass-like silica.
They travel in space by entering hibernation (while in a space-ship, natch) and regaining consciousness when close to a sun.
They have a life-span of several millennia.
There are less than 2,000 remaining on the entire planet.
The information on their decline and their reasons for not being part of the ‘Federation’ are sketchy.
Just as I perform a stoic nod and prepare to leave Falcon’s Wing, CAIN mentions that the timehole here is becoming unstable and will close within one to six hours (!!)
I leave Falcon’s Wing in my environmental suit, but without a holographic disguise. After all, what would I try to look like on this rock?
Since this is fiction, I run in to an inhabitant Thrix five minutes later, even though CAIN had just confirmed there were only 2,000 left across the whole planet (!!)
I can ignore it, run & hide or try to communicate. Since there is nothing among what I’ve been told to say these beings are hostile, I try to communicate.
Aside : Cue the “Me Tarzan, You Living Piece of Silica” jokes.
My universal translator gives the universal greeting…
[If you get this reference, congratulations]
I understand the response of this entity as being concerned that I am a ‘killer’. The obvious answer is ‘hell, yeah’ but I’m not sure if that response is the BEST way of kicking off a meaningful relationship.
The choices here are somewhat interesting : I can ‘tell a harmless joke’, try to control the alien with my Power of Will or risk exposing the whole of my mind to the alien.
Missing is : “Assure the alien I mean no harm and continue to have a constructive dialogue”, but I guess the printer was on strike that day.
Since jokes are so dependent upon cultural environment, that option is dead in the water. I don’t know if ‘Power of Will’ will work against a living rock, so I guess exposing my mind is the least (!) stupid option.
Unsurpringly, the alien and I have some very different perspectives, what with he (it?) being a sentient rock that lives for thousands of years. After some false starts, I gather that the alien’s name is Carborundum and that it (the book confirms that ‘it’ is the correct appellation) is gravely concerned about recent events at a nearby mining complex.
I decide to follow, because, hey, I’m the protagonist.
As Carborundum literally rolls along (!) we pass a corpse of another of his species, and my psyche detects his grief at the end of a friendship that lasted two thousand years.
I remember to point this out when one of my fellow Special Agents complains about how their sporting team hasn’t won the championships for, you know, four years.
*Ahem*
As I am slightly amused by the face that Carbo (my new nickname, since I’m not typing THAT fifty times) finds my ‘bendiness’ and fragility repulsive. I remember that this is WITH my tough environmental suit….
In any event, we reach the entrance to a Polybdenum mine, and see both mining robots and ‘wardroids’ obviously assigned to protect them. It is clear that the corrosive Thrix atmosphere is taking its toll on the robots.
I take out one wardroid with my blaster, while seeing a massive mining ‘droid’ which has a conveyor belt leading into its ‘mouth’. Jumping inside the robot, I see a processing plant along with a central processing unit.
I can destroy the robot’s brain, or continue my exploration.
I don’t think destroying the robot is the prudent course. Not only will it probably alert someone (probably Yelov) to my presence, it might bring the whole darn mine down on my head.
Yeah, I’ve read the story of Samson.
SCREECH OF BRAKES!
I decided not to delete the above, but before looking at either of the pages which set out the results of the two alternatives, I’ve changed my mind. I forgot that I’m actually going to be venturing further INTO the mine, and any co-ordinating robot might be able to sent these ‘wardroids’ after me.
So let’s have a little robot murder!
I dance my blaster ray over the CPU of the mining robot before (for some reason(!)) continuing into the mine. As two wardroids rush towards me, Carbo smashes his twenty ton form (!) into one, taking it to the ground, although it is about to shoot a missile at Carbo. The other droid is aiming its laser cannon at little old me.
I have the choice of blasting the wardroid who is aiming at me, or trying to save Carbo. I almost thought ‘hey – he’s made of rock, what’s the problem?’ before remembering that we passed the corpses of two of his comrades on the way in.
Let’s save the life of the friend I made five minutes ago!
I manage to blast the wardroid that was threatening Carbo, but the one who didn’t like me has a chance to let off a blast. Evasion roll needed!
I dodge the blast, while Carbo allows a torrent of molten slag to engulf both it and the wardroid. The wardroid melts into a puddle of goo, while Carbo is unfazed.
Like an absolute IDIOT, I wonder about whether Carbo is indestructible, in circumstances where I’ve seen two other individuals of the same species reduced to corpses by the side of the road….
And on that morbid note, I leave you.
Endurance : 20, Evasion – +1, Thinkstrike – +1, All other modifiers – 0
Equipment (extra) – Keladi pills
Current paragraph – 168
Pop culture!
Forget Dexter.
The definitive first-person depiction of a sociopatch remains Jim Thompson’s 1952 classic ‘The Killer Inside Me’. Ruthlessly uncompromising, it let’s you know exactly how a person without empathy, compassion or remorse functions. Read at your own risk.
Falcon Gamebooks - Playthrough 